When the lump started growing rapidly at 27 weeks, I had a gut feeling. You know, one of those gut wrenching ones that no matter how hard you try to ignore it, and pretend its not real, you just can't shake it?? One of those. I wanted to pretend I was just an emotional prego, but sadly, I knew in my core that something was wrong, terribly wrong, and I was just not going to be able to shake the feeling. My heart knew I had cancer. Fast forward to the morning of my first appointment with my surgeon for the initial ultrasound that would ultimately confirm my gut feeling. I parked right in front of her building, it was about 8:30 in the morning, and the building was covered in pink. So. Much. Pink. I’ve always loved the color pink, but in that moment, I despised it. I despised what it looked like. I despised how it made me feel. I despised what it stood for. I parked the car and just sat and looked at all the pink and thought to myself, “and so it begins,” as tears began to stream down my face. In that moment, knowing I had no control of what I was about to find, I said a simple prayer through my little sighs, “Dear God, please let me be ok, either way….cancer or not.” In that moment, I absolutely cannot explain it, but remember it with the most vivid of details. God reached out with His mighty, but all too gentle hand, and with the sweetest of whispers said, “You’re gonna be ok. Trust me.” With a new found sense of complete peace, my response was a simple “ok, lets do this.” Tears wiped, car locked, big girl panties back on, and I opened the pink door….
#Godiswritingmystory
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