Every. Single. Day.

*Disclaimer: Many have asked about my burns, and in an effort to continue my transparency through this journey we have been given, I have included a picture of a couple of my burns/blisters that are found under my armpit. I very much believe in modesty and, although now I ask myself "if I have no breasts, is it immodest to show my chest," I still decided I'd spare those pics. After all, I am still a lady ;) Anywho, if you have a weak tummy, you may not want to scroll to the last image. 

Radiation I have found, is not for the weak :) 

26 down. 10 to go.

#Godiswritingmystory

We were supposed to beat this.....together.

     I believe that everything in life happens for a reason. For instance, one of my friends lost her young niece to a car accident 6 years ago. At the time, we most definitely couldn't understand the 'whys' of her accident, but not even a year later, I understood. That same friend, who walked with her family through that loss, was then there for me as my family dealt with the loss of my sister-in-law, Susan, who also died unexpectedly at a young age. Because she had already walked the death of the young, she was able to give me words of strength in our time of grief. Eight years ago, another dear friend of mine began walking the weary road of a cancer diagnosis in the family when her daddy was diagnosed. Again, the 'whys' were not understood until June 3rd of this past year, when that sweet friend was the one that was sitting by my side as my phone rang with my own cancer diagnosis. In that moment, there was no other person that needed to be here with me more because she loved me and knew what was to come because she had already lived it. You see what I mean?? Everything happens for a reason, and God puts the perfect people in our lives, with the perfect life experiences, just when we need them.

     Today, I attended the funeral of one of those people. Ernest Hodges was diagnosed with cancer well over a year ago. Matt worked with him for many years and considered him a good friend, so immediately, our hearts sank with the 'whys' of such a young guy fighting cancer. Here he was, a young husband and father, and was fighting for his life. Fast forward to June of 2015, and the 'whys' of Ernest became more clear, because now, I too was a young wife and mother fighting for my life. Ernest instantly became another cancer role model for me, and when we talked for the first time after my diagnosis, I said to him, "We are going to fight this together?!" Ernest, with that huge, contagious smile said, "Yes we are!" and instantly, I believed him. I was filled with gratefulness for the strength he gave me in those words. And boy did we fight. All the while, comparing notes on how badly cancer stunk, our families rocked, and our Savior blessed.

     But now, we aren't. We don't get to fight together anymore. Although he is no longer infected with cancer, he never got to hear "no evidence of disease" with earthly ears. His sweet wife is grieving for one more sweet embrace with the man that God gave her as the leader of her young family. His sweet daughter is longing for someone, anyone, to bring her daddy back so that she can give him one more hug. His family and friends are wishing for one more contagious grin. I'm wandering this cancer battle land for one of my favorite side kicks.

     I think I know why Ernest got cancer...so that he could help others, like me, who would all too soon begin walking the treacherous cancer road as well. Thankfully, God used his story to help me find strength when I needed it the most. I don't know why I got cancer. I like to think that maybe, just maybe, someone, somewhere, is finding strength in my words for their own battle. And I pray to my Father above that there will be other life circumstances, and people, that will be brought into my life, just at the perfect times, so that I can hear their story and use it to understand the 'whys' of this tough world. I'm so thankful Ernest was one of those people for me.

     And just as I believe everything happens for a reason, I also believe it is in His time that we are given the ability to understand it, and so for right now, I don't guess we get to understand why Ernest couldn't win this fight. It is simply not the time for understanding. So I will grieve for Ernest, just as Christ also grieved while on this earth, and for today, I am going to allow myself to be upset over the 'whys.' Why couldn't we continue to fight together? Why couldn't we both be plugging on like a couple of warriors out to save the day? Why can't he be here to hold his wife and daughter one more time, or two or three or four more times? Why can't we see that contagious smile again? Why couldn't we beat this, together? I guess these are just 'whys' we will have to understand another day.

We love you Hodges family, and are in constant prayer for your comfort! 

Flashback to June 3, 2015: Telling the world...God's servants pick up our broken pieces.

The following are the Facebook posts Matt and I put up a few hours after the phone call from Dr. Strickland.


Katie's:
     Well, today my family received some pretty hard news to swallow. It has been confirmed that I am beginning a battle in breast cancer. Although all reports are not back, based on the results we do have, it looks to be stage 3 inflammatory breast cancer (further tests will confirm that). Don't google it bc it will scare you to death and I am here to reassure you I am not going anywhere!!! I'll know more tomorrow after my oncology appt @ 2:30, but it looks like chemo will start immediately, with surgery to follow after margins have shrunk. Rest assured, we are making sure baby Griffies will be fine through all treatments, and nothing will be done until we are given that reassurance. That being said, it's a very aggressive cancer and we cannot wait until delivery. I love you all and desperately need your prayers for me and my nugget as we begin this journey. More than anything, my God will be glorified because He has given me a peace of "I'm gonna be ok" that can only come from Him, and for that, I am blessed and thankful!!! Now, let's beat this cancer!!

Matt's:

     Katie was diagnosed today with Stage 2 breast cancer. We meet tomorrow with the oncologist to discuss chemo treatments. Katie was told that it is a very aggressive cancer but that it is a curable cancer. I'm sure it's going to be a tough road ahead but I'm confident that God is with us during this and every thing is going to be fine. I ask that you pray for our family, for Katie's healing, for baby Griffies' health, and for Bella. God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good!! Thanks!

My response in the wee early morning hours of June 4th:

     As I sit here unable to sleep, and read all these precious messages again and again, to say that I am completely humbled and in awe of God's love through you, His servants, is an understatement!! I am truly blown away by the number of precious souls that are covering my Heavenly Father's throne tonight on my behalf. I'm sure He's even a little blown away ;) I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being warriors for me. I ask that as this journey is just beginning and progressing, that you will keep those prayers going up every chance you get!! I have had a peace that I would beat this from the beginning of the possibility that it was even coming, but Satan uses fear in powerful ways and I need him to get behind me. I need to continue reading y'alls sweet messages and know that with all these prayers, there is just no way God could say no! I'm gonna continue loving my sweet hubby's "no worry" nature that sometimes drives me batty, I'm gonna keep that sweet secret my daughter gave me tonight as I was putting her to bed, and I am going to watch my second daughter be born and her life unfold before my eyes, and I am going to continue teaching other's about God through this battle!! Please join me in that faith friends!!!

To say that we were overwhelmed, in a good way, by all the love and support that began flooding our souls and picking up the newly broken pieces at this point, would be an understatement too great to explain!! We both grew up in the church, but neither of us have ever been through a situation quite like this before, and so the love of His people that was poured out on us in such beautiful ways, was truly awe inspiring and brought tears to our eyes daily! God is so very good guys, ALL the time, and we thank you for choosing to walk this weary road with us!! We are truly honored to have you come along :) We also realized at this point, we had a choice. We could either focus on the good and see that if we trusted in Him through this trial, He would win souls for His Kingdom through our toughest of days, and hopefully bring my body back to complete healing, OR, we could sit back and focus on how much it all really sucked, and make this journey much harder than it naturally already was to be. Thankfully, through the sweet words of our friends and family, God showed us we had the strength and peace to choose the first option, and we decided to lean on Him and get ready for the bumpy road ahead, knowing we would be carried by His hands. We began clinging to each other and His promise of "You're gonna be OK. Trust me." Just because we chose Him though, did not stop the crazy from beginning ;) 

#Godiswritingmystory 

Ripping Band Aids: Compression Wrap

I am SO flipping tired of this compression wrap around my chest!!
"Leave it on as much as you can," she says!! 

Well you know what....there are moments in any cancer journey where you feel as though something is squeezing you so tight that you are unable to breathe, and it just becomes too much sometimes! So out of panic, you often just kinda rip it off like a bandaid, even if for just a moment, to get some sweet relief from whatever it is. Well tonight, I got tired of literally not breathing and ripped this bad boy off!!!

Ahhh, freedom.

No worries, it went back on in about 45 minutes ;)

Relay for Life Kick-Off

Please come out and join us as we kick-off Autauga County's Relay for Life season!!! We will be having a cupcake war to see who has the best cupcakes in town, learning how to help our little community raise funds towards cancer research, and most importantly, remembering and honoring the survivors and fighters of cancer in our area!! I am thankful I have been given this platform, as the event's speaking survivor, to share my story of letting go, being held, and living out a God-written story of cancer survival!! Hope to see you there :) 

My Post-Masectomy Path Report: "As good as it can be!"

Path report is back!!!! It's not "humanly" perfect, but I know it is perfect in God's sight so I will take it and be grateful :) Dr. Strickland said its "as good as it can be!" There were a FEW microscopic cancer cells around the sight of the biopsy, but they had changed from Invasive Ductal Carcinoma that is Inflammed to Ductal Carcinoma In Situ which means they were confined to the ducts only AND considered stage 0!!!!! Yep, you read that right, stage ZERO!!!!!!! That's just unheard of with IBC......God's such a show out and I love Him for that ;) Also, out of 11 lymph nodes that were taken and looked at, only 1 showed signs of treatment residue which indicates the chemo killed all the cancer cells that were there and none of them survived treatment and were able to spread!! Overall, all of this means, as of October 30th, the day of my surgery, my body is completely NED, NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE FOUND!!!! This path report indicates I had a full response to treatment and am CANCER FREE as far as any doctor or test can tell!!! We will continue with our treatment plan of radiation to follow healing of the double mastectomy as soon as possible because that step lessens the chances of reoccurrence as much as possible! Thank you all for the prayers and support that have carried our little family through this dark valley. I have never felt the love of God and His people so strongly before, and I hope and pray that each of you can experience this incredibly love at some point throughout your life. It is truly an awe inspiring beauty that can come from none other than our most gracious Lord!! I know I've said it before, but it still holds true through this storm...Let God write your story, it will be beautiful. #Godiswritingmystory

Bella Bits: Gratefulness of a child

"Dear God, Thank you for taking my mommy's cancer away. Thank you God for making my mommy cancer free!!!" -Bella, October 14, 2015

My heart is full.